*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

I've recently discovered how unsupportive my mother is. Okay so i asked them if i could apply for the comprehensive side of blackwattle, and on that day when hilda told me she got accepted my mum actually suggested i still had a chance to blackwattle. But now circumstances have 'changed' and mum thinks i'm putting myself in a difficult situation because she thinks i can't handle anything. I just really want them to trust me, and let me make a choice for once. I don't know how many times i've cried because of my want for a better education at another school. I only asked my dad a few minutes ago and he was fine with it until my mum started ranting on about what a stupid choice i'm going to make and how its so "inconvenient" to them. I got into tempe, thats fine but they won't let me go there either. I want to go to a better school, in my case: the comprehensive side of blackwattle, and they still think i'm so bad at making decisions. Its all just really ironic because my mum is preventing me from going to blackwattle because she thinks theres no necessity to lie to get into a school, YET she tells me that she'll apply me for burwood girls with a 'fake address'. She is also complaining about how i've been applying for selective schools since year7 but it is to my belief that this is not entirely my fault. Shouldn't it be the parents' responsibilty to ensure that their children get a relatively decent education? Isn't it supposed to be a priority to at least inject a little bit of knowledge into your kids so they'll be 'up-to-date' and all that jazz. I only gave up hope for those two days after hilda announced her success in getting into blackwattle, but after those few days i conjured my own little bubble of thoughts of at least getting into the comprehensive side of blackwattle. My parents are the last person to protect my bubble of hope, because they were the first to burst it. Ironic isn't it? You may think my family is perfect, and flawless.. but from my perspective there is just that ONE little piece missing to it, the trust that i truly believe that i deserve.

Okay enough tears and text, and on to my day. Yes as my entry title states, my MSN contact list has been invaded by a collection of msn names with turtles at the front. Its all pretty cute, hehe =] It all started after period 6 today, location: lockers. I overheard a conversation between fellow year10ers about Steve Irwin's death. Everyone was literally in disbelief, even my homeroom teacher replied with a "you've got to be kidding" expression. Although sad but true, Steve Irwin aka THE crocodile hunter has indeed passed away, and the hole in his heart is a result of a tragic attack on the father of two. ><* This hole in his heart, also complies with his family and friends. Death by an attack of a stingray... i've never heard before. But i certainly pray for his family and friends and hope they can move on to another part of their life. Thank you steve irwin for putting so much effort in the research of reptiles? =) Hope you have a nice life >.<" and please watch over your family and friends as they go through this part of their life... especially your children, experiencing the death of a loved one at such a young age is definitely hard to bear. Rest in peace Steve Irwin, you were a great Australian wildlife icon.

Bye everyone, i have to get moving - was my face of these salty tears and 'cleanse' my mind of all that is troubling me at the moment. I pray that one day, my parents have enough trust in me to allow me to make my own decisions, and i hope to seek an entrance into blackwattle bay with the assistanceeee of dearesttt hildaaaa! :)