*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

Today, has been a big muddled day.. with emotions varying from happiness to confusion. Its so scary how we females can feel so many emotions in the duration of about 12 hours. I'm just so lost at the moment, and i can't really tell anyone what my mind is set on because i've been thinking about some things lately.

I don't know how to ask my mum again, about next year and where i'm going. I'm so freaked that she'll yell at me again, and i, knowing i'd start tearing up again --- don't want to cry again because of this. T-T i just wish i wasn't so sensitive with this crap, i just don't get why i can cop the crap i get from the younger girls at school, but i can't take criticism from my own family members. I know younger sisters aren't meant to be stereotypically supportive, but i just hate it when she looks down on me, and degrades me. Thats why sometimes i wished i had someone who were heaps heaps younger than me, or vice versa. *merf* Next thing on my to-do list is to ask my mum again about applying for the comp side, and following that should definitely be start my english essay for thursday.

On to some happier things. T_T; 今日好瘀呀。。。 so today at lunch time i put my plate(cost $100 each) in the paperbag in which i got my lunch order in, on the table at which my group was sitting on. So i went to the toilet because i really needed to go empty my bladder; hahaha, i was finished when i heard the door close! T^T so i, being the blunt one i am, thought they locked me in. So i started panicking and fixed myself up and was going to go bang on the door like crazy. But i figured out it was just a fellow student who closed a cubicle door. Psh. Okay so i wash my hands... go outside; return to the table to gather my things as the bell had rung for period 5. I realised that my plate which had a message written in pen saying: DO NOT THROW OUT. MY PLATES ARE IN HERE =), was missing. I just stood there in disbelief, i kept asking Jess because she witnessed me scribing the message onto the paperbag. I repeated the question several times, and each time she would assure me that i had really wrote the message there but Ali had already visited the bin with some stuff and half my group was there assuring me that Ali might've put some stuff in the bin with my plate. So i stood there for what seemed like 5 minutes, trying to figure if this was reality or was it just me, zoning out. I stared at Theresa, because it seemed like a smile on her face. T^T then my eyes just started watering, and then i burst into tears T_T' Then the next few seconds seemed like it was on fast forward x); Theresa's smile turned into an 'OMG' hahaha ... she was like "omg im so sorry hahaha xD' then she got up and gave me a hug. ROFL Passersby were giving me strange looks because my face was blotchy with tears, but i was also laughing along with half my group. SO MEAN!!! THERESA!!! hahaha 之後就比o的朋友話我可愛 T.T 我話o佢?簑就真 =[

Also, have to go Harvey Norman soon, to get that $40 or so 1gb USB stick. Not sure if i'm going to go city with hilda tomorrow, i have a lot to think about. Subject selection forms were due again today. Didn't hand mine in. Really want to move schools, don't know how. Fucking confused. Wanna die(not really). Feel like stabbing someone(something).