*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

Ctee !! My maths buddy =D hahaha i only met you this year and :) i'd have to say xD you take the 'rainieskiies' and turn them back into 'greyskiies' xD (as you you make shitty weather look good). Does that make sense? o_0' Well yeah, =) you have that power to make people feel that little bit better because you're just happy all the fucking time xD. Wish life could be perfect for me too ^____^ but its near perfectttt-ish. ROFLMAO we are so fucked, we vowed today at recess that today would be our last day for our own reasons =) *sigh* thank you to you and daniel today at central =), you had to withstand the ugly sights of strange, out of the zoned-ness. *sigh* I sigh too much nowadays :) But yeah, like i said i know if one day i feel like the shittiest piece of cake on earth you'd still reassure i'll be alive xD and i don't know what i'm typing.

iｌｏｖｅ HILDA aｎｄ　CTEE　ａｎｄ =)

to be continued. But on to today's story.

i'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears. xD no whatever, i'm going on a mass download spree >=[ . Generally, i just want things to change now. From what its like now, to what its like before. Not completely, but a little less quarrelling might do my mind that little bit better. =D This is all getting so motherfucking hard. I wish that i cried all my tears away and can't cry anymore =D how fckn cool would that be? =)

But no moreeeeee j-days with ctee !! because its badbadbad!! i don't want an n-award!! *hug*


------edit*

the more i sit at home. the more i think. so i think i'm just going to go take a nice long shower... and crash the bed. i don't like all this. i've gotten so sick of crying, that i wish that i could just turn it all off and become me again. unhappy leann is rarely seen in public, but lately she finds her way out. i'm going to crash. i just really really really really really wish everything would become okay again, but at the moment all i know is it probably won't be very soon. i don't enjoy the silences, i don't enjoy the tears, i don't enjoy the cold wind in the park. what happened to the warm conversations, bright smiles and bursts of laughter, what happened to the park that once set as a comfort zone for everyone? i wish for everything back. i wish to be normal again. i wish to be more responsible. i wish for so many things, but wishing won't do anything. its the action that makes the wish count. i'm also sick of getting called stupid. it may not be intended to be derogatory, but i, being the sensitive little bitch always take it negatively. my tolerance only goes as far as that. crying gives me headaches. but i still choose to persist. i can't fucking work anymore. i remember making fun of those stupid couples on tv whenever they're arguing, it all seemed so ... cliche and faked. But once you get to experience it, its more than a laughing matter. Sometimes it just gets the best of you. but you know what?

Leannnn is a strong bitch =D. Why let other people make you feel THAT shit, where did your conscience go? =) MAKE IT COME BACK! But for the mean time, THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY FRIENDS FROM EVERYWHERE. <3 COMFORT = MUCH LOVED.

PS. I'm still not going to give it all up. HAVE FAITH . TRUST . FUCKIN' BE HAPPY .

TOMORROW I'M PUTTING ALL MY TROUBLES INTO THE COMPETITION. ANGER INTO EVERY SMASH I MAKE. THOUGHT INTO EVERY SHOT ON COURT. THINK THINK THINK! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR.