“baby you're the best i ever had”
torn
Monday, July 23, 2007 || 6:09 pm
letoya - torn
It may be a monday, but it wasn't quite that bad of a monday. The weather has been quite friendly recently, with its warm rays of sunshine that instill a bit of warmth into everyone's tired bodies after the weekend. I've been thinking quite a bit since last night til now. I want to know if i'm just cheating myself or if its reality. But seeing the ones around me so happy, laughing, joking around... numbs the sadness for a few seconds and when the buzzing halts, it all comes back... the thoughts never stop seeping back into my mind.
Was it a subliminal message posted behind the song? I was listening to it on repeat this morning on the train, and at central station. Whenever i caught the eye of a fellow commuter, i'd quickly turn away in order to avoid awkwardness. Was there a message hidden behind those melodic words? Even i'm unsure. Standing there next to that pillar for protection from the wind. I felt so lonely...
And i don't know who to blame but myself. Why did i ever do so much to scar such a relationship? Today was a day of thoughts that reminded me of all the times i've fucked up. And now, time is running out, if not ... already out. I am actually working quite diligently at school though. Not sure why, but i guess working hard makes you forget about worries for a few hours. But i wish it'd just go back to the times when they cared/loved, but thats where i fucked up.
I just can't forgive myself for wasting so much time in the past two terms.EDIT ----*
i miss jerry. =\ i wonder what hes doing now..