*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

I'm so doped these days, whats wrong with me?! I have the most difficult time trying to put my words together and no i am not instigating that i do drugs of any sort. I deem a lot of things accountable for this unbearably shitty habit of mine, i should engage myself with wide reading habits and whatever will improve my literary skills.

On a different tangent, after last night i'm still amidst a decision-making process but its quite clear what i do want and what i don't. I have to thank all my friends so much because i've been through quite a lot lately, if i'd been managing it all on my own, i'd progress then i'll encounter a barrier which i most likely would have bounced back to square one on. With cynthia's neverending bubbly, happy personality and hilda's constant tendency to scrawl a rather inspiring quote onto my arm and elie's countless efforts to make me feel better and even though i may not really feel it, i know deep down jerry wants me to be happy too. I'm rather grateful for those that have been ever so supportive throughout the past few months, but sometimes we have to pull through ourselves in order to grow. "What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger" and i agree on it, but i can't help endorse this rather painful bitterness towards some people. I'm a rather apathetic person if an issue didn't directly affect me, and i apologise to many that i've hurt in the past few months because of my tendency of erratic mood-changing.

But however many times i say all that ^, it will never mean anything until my real personality shines through. Deep down, i know how to sympathise, i know how to care, i know how to problem solve, i know many ways to manage my conflicts throughout life but i guess its my bitterness that executes all consciousness. One day, i'll be myself again.. the Leann who once had no trouble at all with dealing with the ones closest to her. But until then, its all a learning process. Or a lesson learnt, rather. I just don't know how to express :)

Today was a rather interesting day, despite the fact that i kept nodding off into my own little dream world due to a rather sleepless night last night. Morning class was the usual mathematics routine. Signed in at period 1 because i had a free period 1 which i find rather irritating as waking up as early as 6am precedes with a free morning period. RAWR. Joined c tee 's class!

In the arvo, my studies of religion class made a journey to Auburn Gallipoli Mosque which did not cost hilda and i a cent because we concluded that there were no barriers at Auburn LOL. But upon arrival, our suspicions had risen and luckily the barriers were not working. It was quite a long draining journey on the train, so i guess hilda and i took refuge in the upper deck of the train while the noisy little 'princesses' proceeded downstairs. Quite a peaceful ride, all with the exception of a rather smelly odour ... i guess next time i'll remember to bring spare deodorant for those who have no idea what deodorant even is.

Visit to the Mosque.
It was actually an interesting experience, the tour guide was very animated with his speech and in a way captured our attention pretty well considering how many people dozed off in a few of our past few SOR excursions. The architecture of the actual Mosque itself was intriguing, the detailing of every corner of the interior was the most amazing. The Mosque was designed in the Classical Ottoman Style of Architecture, the building materials itself were imported from Turkey to re-capture the original sense of style common in many Mosques all around the world. It was a really peaceful place, once we set foot into the premises it almost felt like travelling back in time when the world was less of a anarchical place. I'm rather interested in the actual religion itself, its sad to know such a religion has been exposed to the media in such violent portrayals.

The tour guide also told us about how there had been two funeral processions that had taken place on this day with one of them being a 17 year old. It really makes you wonder about life, and the whole cycle of birth - life - and death. For all we know, we could die tomorrow.. or within the next hour, minute, or second.

"Smile while you still can!" ... I think thats one of hilda's wise quotes again :) hahahaha ahhh.

Thats all for today, i've written an essay for today -_- But i guess it compensates for the shit quality of my other posts in terms of negativity and length :)