“baby you're the best i ever had”
happiness is a journey, not a destination
Saturday, September 20, 2008 || 4:28 pm
It seems that Spring has finally arrived, evident in the erratic patterns in the weather. The warm winds kindly remind me of the days when my energy levels would drop as the mercury rises, haha. But its no time to laze around, with the HSC literally just around the corner. So many thoughts have crossed my mind in the past few days. Looking at a multitude of photos of friends' last days at high school just makes me so nostalgic. I miss the days when I dreaded actually attending school, and I never thought I'd dread the end of going to school. I know these things have to end some day, and I've been told to just make the most of the remainder of the year.
What will become of me after this year? ... Will i be as studious as i was two years ago? Will my parents be proud of me? ... Would i still be in contact with my besties? It might be a bit childish to hang on to things that generally don't last forever, but the thought of not talking to the people that have been there for me through my ups and downs throughout high school just becomes something emotional to me. What if in the future, this blog will become the remnants of my last memories of high school?
I've never felt so guilty as i have in these past two years, the last two years of my schooling. I know that it is entirely up to me to work hard, but i sometimes think to myself, if i had stricter asian parents that pressured me harder to study, what would have become of me? I'm also sick of those competitive family friends around me who only know to boast their children's excellence, and to dig dirt on their own family so they have something to talk about. I'm so sick and tired of bitching, its everywhere. Be it at school, at home, or at various sporting events involving the family. I'm so sick of random bitches, materialising cover stories on people they dislike in order to crush one's dignity. I'm also sick of hearing rumours with storylines so bizarre, that any sane person would reconsider its genuinity before actually slaving for the accusations.
Wow, i seriously never meant to turn this entry into a confession essay. Haha, but i guess my time is running out, and i have so many things to do that i haven't already laid a finger upon. But all i know is, i'm going to have to cherish these last days in high school ... because i already miss it.