“baby you're the best i ever had”
sorting things out
Friday, March 13, 2009 || 1:35 pm
Well originally, i was going to type up a whole story about the whole thing. But i can't bring myself to write it, yet. Well the talk we had last night was inevitable, it had to be done sooner or later. I think the biggest fear for me now is that we won't be able to maintain a proper conversation without feeling a bit weird/awkward (at least on my part anyways). I feel that i'm kind of stuck at the middle at the moment, even though i've sort of chosen to wait it out a bit... until i finally have an epiphany ...
I don't want to let go just yet, but this is like what happened last time, i just kept hurting myself because i kept holding on to that last bit of hope. Its alright, though its going to hurt, it'll take a while to move on. I don't want to be in a relationship where i can't trust, and i don't want to be in a relationship where the feelings aren't exactly mutual either. I guess, its the way they act like they don't care, it hurts... but i'll live. I can't stand listening to my english songs, lol.
I keep telling myself .. 'Its okay leann!... it'll be okay later' So... i've been given a choice to wait for him to make up his mind. I choose to wait, and see how things go. So far, so good. I think its the fact that i've been accustomed to this shitty feeling for a while now hahahaha ! But its alright : D Its not like we're completing divorcing each other as friends, i'll still get to see him around/talk to him on msn.
Okay i'm rambling now, i ate pork dumplings today and i feel kind of sick. So i'm going to go read some cosmo, because the relationshit advice/life advice in general is hilarious XD ... Ahh hmm... I'm not sure i want to go clubbing tonight either, because the weather seems a bitch. But that shouldn't stop me from having fun right ? I guess i'll just hold out for next week then <3 - qdance!
P.S. Please don't say you don't care, even if thats the truth, i'd rather not know if its unimportant to you. Thanks !
P.P.S. I'm still here whenever you do need me !
P.P.P.S. This post is so cheesey, it makes me cringe :D
xoxo. Leann is now a stronger person :)
Labels: relationship