“baby you're the best i ever had”
not in the mood
Monday, May 25, 2009 || 2:05 am
It's 2:05, i can't sleep. I just want to crawl into a hole and die in there. The level of humiliation i've reached is so ... humiliating. Hahah, i'm just a loser that can't seem to find the solutions for everything that's going wrong right now. I don't like having to second-think everything. Why have i become so pessimistic over the past few months? I hate what i've become.
I'm a fuckin' crybaby. Everything i'm saying tonight doesn't make sense. And i can't interpret any of the cryptic shit people throw at me. I don't want to think tonight. I always kill it. Hahaha one of these days, it'll come out. Hit me right in the face. I won't be able to avoid it.
For the time being, i'm blaming my insecurities. I've lost my confidence. I don't feel confident, and certainly don't look confident. My insecurities slowly kill me, and the people around me.
I just hate myself right now. I hate ending a night on a sour note. I'm at fault. I'm so sorry.