*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

Having had a full week to study for the one exam this coming thursday, I really don't have an excuse to fail at all. At the moment, I'm feeling a little fat. I wriggled into my jeans today, and found that it was a tiny bit tighter than they used to be. I feel like regurgitating all that chicken and those gherkins i consumed at dinner, along with the huge pile of complementary garlic sauce i used to dip everything into.

Today was quite an eventful day. But it will only remain a secret :) Until one day in the far future, will i uncover the adventures we had today. But right now, i'm just feeling like a fat blob. My emotions/moods are all over the place, and I admit - i am quite a mess. I'm still kind of irked at the fact that some people treat you nicer when they want something from you, but at other times they'll completely ignore your existence. Up until now, I thought that the world was easygoing, but from recent events... the tables have turned.

I've neglected my blog, I know. But i don't write it for people to read anyways. So for the sake of making history, I'll just recount my days. I wonder how long it'll take me to hit the 1000 mark with the posts :)

How am i feeling? I don't really know, man! I mean, whenever i describe my emotions on this blog are always somehow linked to how i feel towards a certain someone. Right now, it's just all confusion. There are so many questions as relating to this strange relationship :\ many of them, asked by external individuals. Examples are "why________?" ... or "how come _________?" even to the extremes where they just make a conclusion for me, direct or indirect, such as advising me to depart all of it. But the thing is, I don't want to. It's actually quite simple, i know that. If he tells me to "gtfo" of his life, then that'd be my cue that it's over.

The little things that are said and done also get to me - forced me to re-consider why i'm in it. Sorry, but i don't joke around with relationships. You either take me seriously, or you gtfo.

Good things come to those who wait... Is it really true? Maybe it doesn't really apply to me anymore. Because at the end of the day, it was all because of my stupid actions. So I guess.. it's time for me to suffer the consequences. And as i've been told by numerous people (as if i don't feel guilty enough about yesteryear)... it's all just karma coming back to bite me back in the rearside.

It's funny how i just typed a lot of that bullshit up there ^ but i realise that in the end, it's all because i still care. I still really like him/it. Is it silly?

Thank you ladies and gentlemen(whoever you are) for reading my ramblings. I will make more posts in the near future. Once i get my facebook back :)

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mami + i = good luck :)

Labels: examination, relationship, university