*HAPPY SOUL

“baby you're the best i ever had”

You know you really care about someone when you don't hate them for breaking your heart.

I've always had the idealistic thought that I could stay friends with someone who has broken my heart. The first time i had my heart broken, i couldn't maintain the friendship because my mind was so clouded with misery and resentment because he had moved on immediately(about a week after we were no more). I hated jerry for how he concluded our story, and all the lies and excuses he threw at me. This time, it's different. It may just be the beginning to the end of this story. Have i been accustomed to how it feels like to have someone you really cared about move onto another person immediately? Haha, i'm confused as to why i'm not angry at him for doing the same thing jerry did. Maybe i've just learnt not to hold onto it, because i don't expect him to come back to me. Instead of being angry, i feel glad that he's got someone that doesn't piss him off with small things. And i'm glad that he's got someone that he can hold, and talk to without feeling awkward.

Maybe in the next few months, i'll gradually stop liking him. And maybe within the next 12 months or so, we can actually be friends again. Because right now, i know it'll hurt to see him with her. And the awkwardness will hurt, and so will not being able to give him a friendly goodbye hug.

I've got a lot to keep me busy right now, so hopefully uni work will hasten the rate that i get over him. My exam timetable is hectic, and defqon1 is not going to be fun unless i get my act together with uni. I wish we could wear a sign on us that said something like 'i'm single, but but single does not mean available' haha.

If you're still reading this, then i apologise for the emo entry today. I've posted a lot more lately, because it feels like its the only way i can express myself freely. But i promise you won't see any more of these :) because ... to see the rainbow, sometimes you have to endure the rain. And i don't want to burden any more people with this hahaha.

On a lighter note, i'm getting a new phone in a month ! Any suggestions? I'm a samsung person :) I think i might just know which one i'm getting.

'and i know one day you'll see, nobody has it easy
i still can't believe you found somebody new, but i wish you the best, i guess'
Everybody Knows ~ John Legend