I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I miss the days where nothing was wrong with me, and there are a few things I regret (like not looking after myself). I've always told other people that it's okay to be selfish sometimes. But I never seem to take my own advice, which is pretty fail. I figured nobody cares about your health as much as you do. In fact, it's not even anyone else's responsibility when it comes to your own health. You are in charge of your own body, mind and spirit. You have authority in what you consume, and with this authority, you're responsible to assess the risk and hazards you expose your body to when you make everyday choices. What you eat affects your health directly. What you place into your body, affects you directly.
Don't leave anything til the last minute, because maybe at that very last minute - it'll be too late to do anything. I feel sick at the thought of dying at such a young age. The possibility that I could die any minute, any hour of any day is somewhat frightening. But I know there's always someone that is willing to take care of me no matter what.
Sickness scares me. To me, sickness is like a burden on your family and friends. Or contrarily, it is times when you are sick, that you realise who is most concerned about you and your wellbeing. I posted a tweet the other day, while I was burning up with a fever of 39.1 degrees celcius:
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and you weep alone.
In reality, nobody gives a fuck about how you're doing. The phrase 'how have you been?' has been stripped of its meaning by overuse. It's nothing but an act.
Of course, there are exceptions.
Perhaps I should hurry up and fix everything that's wrong right now. Perhaps that'll do my sanity some good. Once I've got a clean health bill, I'm definitely taking care of myself like a normal person would.
