“baby you're the best i ever had”
untitled
Thursday, December 20, 2012 || 6:31 pm
I was stupid, and naive. I should have went with my gut feeling from the beginning. I did not deserve to be with someone who wouldn't stick up for me, didn't really give two fucks about whether i forked out my weeks' worth of pay to go on an actual date, truly and wholeheartedly believed that I was an irrational bitch most of the time we had arguments, and most ultimately... someone who was extremely dependent as a person.
I am still in disbelief that his excuse for avoiding me is that he has too many mixed feelings and experiences in the past two years even though he had told me he had no feelings for me whatsoever and that he stopped loving me long before he 'had the courage and the resolve' to tell me.
That's probably not the worst part... the worst is the fact that he probably actually believes himself when he tells his friends and family that I would cry and beg my way back into a relationship with him. But if he had so much more time to heal his heart before he dropped mine, why should any of this shit matter? Cowardice.
I've contemplated deleting him off facebook so many times, even though I've hidden all of his posts from my news feed. I honestly don't think I can do it... I don't want to stay friends at all because it all hurts too much. Of course it's not a very nice feeling to see yourself be so quickly replaced with other people/things, but everything will pass. I just wished it would pass quicker... so I don't have to think about him everyday when I've probably been banished from his mind a long time ago.
I still have so many questions left unanswered... but I have learnt a lot from this relationship and hopefully when somebody comes along to appreciate me for who I am I will be able to apply it all.
(12/01/2013)