“baby you're the best i ever had”
a letter to my ex
Tuesday, April 16, 2013 || 7:12 pm
You mentioned that you still read my blog and/or twitter on a regular basis to keep your feelings for me bottled inside. Now, I don't know how much of this is true - and frankly, I hope you wouldn't keep these demons in your head at all. I don't even know if you'll be reading this entry anytime soon, or even ever but I know that eventually, by chance, you might just wind up here to see these words I actually want you to read.
I just read over the past two posts I wrote which were undoubtedly written about you. I don't want to be placing you at fault for what has become of our situation (whatever it is now), but wasn't it all too clear where I was heading? I basically forced myself to believe that you had 'ceased existence' from my life because that was basically what you wanted me to do.
You're not stupid, I know you're not. You knew where I was heading - you pushed me out of your door, and I was leaving your front yard step by step. You made it too clear to me that all you wanted was some freedom and space. There's too many unresolved issues between us and not enough time for either of us to make things better.
I'm not a mind reader, and I'm not the best at understanding people. You know that things need to be laid out for me piece by piece for me to understand the greater picture. Which is why your grand plan backfired. I value clarity in communication because I find it difficult to decipher cryptic conversations. I know things can't always be black and white.
There's so much more that I need to say, but none of it even matters anymore.
And with that being said, I'll end this post here with my standard response to the question "oh, why did you guys break up, you were such a good couple" .. and that was:
He was the perfect person, at the wrong time.
... and I still believe it.